It’s been too long since I’ve seen some of the people I used to call my best friends.  I mean, we don’t even talk anymore.  Not the phone, not online, and most certainly not in person.  And what does this mean?  Does it mean that we’re not friends anymore?  Could it be that I’ve lost these people forever?  I don’t think so, but at the same time, maybe.

I don’t know where my life is taking me, but it’s definitely not the same direction as most of the people I once was so close to.  There will be no more Margarita Nights, no more watching Tate, Glenn, or James play video games, and definitely no more nights like my twentieth birthday.

In a way I find it depressing that these things seem completely in my past, but at the same time it brings me hope.  While these moments with these people will most certainly not reoccur,  I have hope that very similar moments will come about with very similar people, and probably in a very similar place.

My world is filled with patterns.  Every single person that I meet is the same as the last, every place I move to is the same as my previous home.  The repetitions of these people and places give me hope that one day soon I will find the things that I miss; the people that I am connected with.

But then again, does this mean that my life consists of the same pattern that my world consists of?  Does this mean that I will never free myself from the monotony and useless actions I currently find myself performing?  No, I guess not; I am able to see them clearly, now, so maybe this will mean I can change them.

Life teaches way more than school

This past week was Spring Break here, and I think I learned more in half the time than I have so far the entire semester.  I’ve learned a lot about life, and a lot about what I don’t want my life to be like.

I’ve never been a huge party girl, but after a few days at the beach with some friends (and some acquaintances) , I’ve seen that I want more from myself.  I want to impact the world that I live in somehow, I want to be able to change things, change people.  How can I promote positive changes if I’m too busy getting too drunk to stand up straight?

Somehow I ended up being DD for most of the nights we were out and about.  I was able to observe everyone else from a completely sober position, and I think that was more sobering than the lack of alcohol in my system.  Now, I don’t drink all the time, and usually don’t drink large quantities when I do, but the group I was with subscribed to the “all or nothing” view of partying, and they choose the “all” options as often as they can.

It would have been impossible for me to keep up, even if I had wanted to.  Fortunately I feel like I’m taking a lot out of the experience; I mean, I love a good buzz as much as the next drinker, but the degree that it was taken to by some of these people was ridiculous.

I’ve got to get involved somehow, make a difference in my community.  I wish now that I had gotten in touch with my friend to go to a protest instead of baby-sitting a bunch of adults (all of whom are older than me, by the way).

I can’t wait to move to a bigger city, where community involvement is easier.  Until then, I’ll have to make due with what I have, and encourage people to recycle.  There’s just so little going on here, and I don’t know how to start something.

God, it’s frustrating.

education isn’t just found in school

Life is tough; I’ll admit it. I often find myself not having any clue as to how I’m supposed to make it through everything, how I’m supposed to figure things out for myself. I mean, sure I’m a very independent individual with many views on life, but at the same time I just don’t know how to go about discovering new truths.

Honestly I’m tired of Christianity. I got burnt out on it years ago, and I doubt I’ll be interested in going back to it any time soon, if ever. I just don’t feel as if it has anything to offer me. The people who participate in the religion don’t stimulate me mentally, and definitely don’t stimulate me spiritually. I mean, isn’t that what religious groups are for? To enrich the lives of those who are members of them? All I ever got out of church was a huge group of people turning their backs on me, unable to give me any kind of support in any way.

I could go on and on, but I think I’ll stop there with the religion thing.

Often I feel as if I’m never going to make it out of here, out of school. Sure it’s only about a year and a half to two years more, but I’ve already been working on this whole education thing for a while, and I feel as if I keep running in circles without getting any farther along with it.

I mean, how was I supposed to know what to get my degree in if I couldn’t find the time to figure out who and what I am? Working too much has caused too many set-backs in my life, and it’s so frustrating. I wish I would have realized sooner the necessity of taking time off, of taking time to myself. How am I supposed to do that when I’m in class for over 20 hours a week, at work for 20 hours a week, and have about 30-40 hours of homework assigned every week? I mean, come on, that’s generally 80 hours a week. When am I supposed to think, much less sleep?

Not having a job these past few months has given me a chance to begin catching up, but I think I still have a really long way to go. I have so much to discover about myself, and it’s a journey I think I’m finally ready to embark on. I can’t wait to make discoveries about what makes me happy, what makes my life worth living (because up until recently I’ve just been living it; with little to no direction of my own).

Changing my major yet again, I think I’m finally finding what makes me satisfied and productive. Fortunately this time it wont’ set me back any more (I’ll probably even be done sooner this way). I can’t wait to get that piece of fucking paper that says I stuck it out, that I persevered and payed my dues. Then I can go on to what I truly want to do with my life. No inhibitions this time, I’m just going to jump into it feet first without letting anyone stop me.

Well, I haven’t been using this thing for my art process (obviously).  I guess it’s just too time consuming doing the work and then trying to post it as well; my school shit takes up enough of my time without adding more work onto it.

So I guess that I’ll just start blogging.  I mean, I already have this set up, so why not, right?  Basically if you end up reading any of this, you’ll probably be bored to tears.

Do you ever feel like the people you know and love is pushing you away?  As if they are turning their backs on you and erasing your memory from their minds?  I have (or had, rather) a friend who has been doing this to me.  It’s awful.  He meant so much to me, and now it feels like I’ve been punched in the nose after a fresh septum stretch.

I mean, seriously….  We used to talk pretty much every day.  For hours….  And what do you know?  He starts dating someone and disappears from my life all together.  Of course it’s right when I need him, too.  After spending so much time conversing with him for so long, I got used to having someone to listen to my problems; someone to comfort me when I was inexplicably upset over some minute detail of my day (I mean, come on, I’m a woman…. it happens).

Since he started ignoring the fact that I breath, the fact that blood flows through my veins and that I exist, I’ve had no one.  My parents are halfway around the world, and travel so much that it’s impossible to catch them at home with a phone call, and my sister has enough on her plate with her own life and friends.

I mean, sure there are people who would probably suffer through my complaints, but I just don’t feel comfortable talking to them about things.  I can tell that they don’t care, or that they don’t understand.

Not to say they don’t care about me, just that they don’t want to listen.  I know that they love me and don’t want me to be upset, but that’s different form actually being able to listen to things, you know?

Now he won’t even answer or return phone calls (and hasn’t for the past 4 and a half months….).  Not that I’ve even bothered trying recently.  I’m just so tired of all the games you have to play with people.  I’m a straight forward person, and can’t comprehend why someone would bother pretending to care anymore when they don’t really.

Well, I guess that’s all the rambling I’ll do for now.  It’s late and I have a full day of classes tomorrow.  I’m just glad I have next weekend and the following week to look forward to, and then the Philadelphia convention to look forward to.  Finally getting my sleeve started after waiting for so long.

Asignment 3 – 3D Design

Find and take photos of design, sculpture and architecture that emply the use of linear elements to define 2D and 3D space.

Look in books, magazines, internet and around you.

Put this research in your sketchbooks as a record of your research activities.

http://www.wanderingword.com/nucleus/media/2/20050913-Gaudi.JPG

Work from Fall 2006

Here’s some work that I did in my drawing class last semester; I’ll post more when I can get pictures of it.

All of the drawings up until this point have been about 18″x24″, but this last one is about 5′X3′

2D project on line: rythm and movement

<a href=http://www.anna-om-line.com/english.htm>

<a href=www2.aimnet.ne.jp/nakahara/3dart/sakuhin2a.html>

<a href= iws.ccccd.edu/mbailey/collage_overhead.htm>

<a href=http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.bluedistortion.com/images/artwork/graffiti-05.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.bluedistortion.com/atlanta-graffiti/&h=375&w=500&sz=61&hl=en&start=3&tbnid=QC7IvSCNzoFlnM:&tbnh=98&tbnw=130&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgraffiti%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DG>

<a href=www.rion.nu/v5/archive/000336.php>

Drawing 2; still life and study of composition

This is what I have done so far in my Drawing 2 class. For about the first week, we worked on a still life with the intention of creating good composition.

Attempt 1:

Attempt 2:

Abstracted version of attempt 2:

Final Abstracted Version:

The project that we’ve been working on since last week was one where we were to take about 30 objects and create an interesting composition overlapping them.

Cube Sculpture: thoughts and sketches

Strengths:

• structure (grid)
• linear qualities: line, angles
• recesses
• familiarity with shape; very basic (childrens’ toys)

Limitations/Weaknesses:

• difficult to get anything but geometric shapes (specificly angular shapes)
• organic subjects will be hard to approach
• can’t be top-heavy

Overcomin Limitations:

• if curvilinear dimensions are incorperated, then be sure to bring back linear aspects on top of the curvilinear to bring about unity and flow
• if using an organic topic, abstract

Possible concepts:

• referencing skull at bottom of previous entry; octopus, but abstracted and angular
• having some form of sheer paper incorperated around the outside of main structure

Thumbnails and Pencil Studies:

Rough Models:

*In the last rough model, the cylinder that goes through to the cube on the other side will have a translucent wall between the cylinder and cube.

Cube Sculpture

Assignment 2, 3D Design:

Modified Geometric Solid:
Starting with the basic cube – design a full 3D piece which is derived from this form.
Your solution must:
be monochromatic – black, neutral grey, or white
be geometric and crisp
be an obvious derivation of a cube
invite the viewer to move around the piece
The piece may e free standing, or you may utilize a simple base for presentation

Research: Write down your thoughts in your sketchbook
(a) strengths of subject
(b) limitations of subject
(c) ways that limitations can be overcome

find visual reference material for design inspiration, sculpture and
architecture that involves or references geometric solids.

A. Produce at least 12 thumbnail studies in Pencil exploring a range of potential design ideas; studies must employ multiple views or perspectives (about 3″).

B. Produce at least 6 pencil studies exploring and refining the best of your thumbnail concepts (about 5.5″). This point should be reached by Tuesday, January 30.

Tuesday in class we will proceed to produce rough models of your studies using the materials which you explored on the previous project. Your final design will be produced using the same materials at about 8-12″. Since your first project was very limited in mass, you may need to consider heavier materials and stronger supports to keep this construction rigid.
Keep in mind when doing pencil research.

C. Create 3 small rough models to discuss options with the class (about 6″).

3 rough models for class discussion due Thursday, February 1.

D. Make notes on class discussion.

E. Revise models based on discussion as needed.

F. Execute finished 3D design.

Finished 3D design and research due Thursday, February 8.

Note: mae pictures of rough models and revisions to include with your research in the sketchbook.
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